How to Recognize an Unhealthy Relationship: 6 Signs to Observe!
- Carole Noël
- Jun 18
- 4 min read
How to Recognize an Unhealthy Relationship: 6 Signs to Observe (and Honour)
Inspired by Dr. Ramani and my own lived experiences
Lately, I’ve been asked this question over and over again:
“How do I know if I’m in an unhealthy relationship? What are the signs I should be paying attention to?”
This applies to all kinds of interpersonal relationships — not just romantic ones.
It’s an essential question, especially when you’ve already been hurt, manipulated, or emotionally drained by a toxic relationship.
After such an experience, rebuilding trust becomes a sacred and fragile path.
You move gently.
You listen deeply.
You observe.
And most of all: you relearn how to trust yourself — and that’s not easy.
In this message, I want to share six common signs of unhealthy dynamics.
They are red flags — drawn from my own healing, from the journeys of those I accompany in emotional recovery, and from the deeply insightful teachings of Dr. Ramani, a renowned expert on narcissistic and toxic relational patterns.
But before we dive in, I want to offer one essential distinction.
☝️ A hurtful behaviour can happen to anyone.
We all have moments when we react out of fatigue, stress, or fear.
And that alone doesn’t make a relationship toxic.
👉 What makes all the difference is the ability to recognize the behaviour, to apologize sincerely, and to make real changes.
Where there is awareness, accountability, and growth — there is true love.
That’s a green flag.
But when harmful behaviours repeat again and again, when apologies feel rehearsed and empty, and nothing truly changes, that’s when we enter the territory of unhealthy — often subtle, yet deeply destructive — dynamics.
And that’s what fuels my intention today:
• to offer you tools of discernment — so you can recognize, with clarity and compassion, what is truly healthy for you…
• and to strengthen your inner compass, your voice, and your beautiful, wise heart. 💛
6 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
1. Frequent frustration and emotional outbursts
The person in front of you often reacts with tantrums or exaggerated frustration — and somehow, you end up feeling responsible:
“I did all this for you, and you don’t even appreciate it.”
They deflect, blame, and never truly own their behaviour.
You begin to question yourself. You think: maybe I am the problem.
2. Subtle put-downs… disguised as jokes
Comments like:
“Well, your job must be nice and easy. I’m the one doing the real work.”
Or: “I make more money — I deserve more respect.”
And if you react:
“Oh come on, you’re too sensitive. It was just a joke.”
It creates a climate of mockery and minimization that chips away at your self-worth, little by little.
3. Loyalty tests… and emotional isolation
They start criticizing your family, your friends — even your children.
They create situations where you’re forced to choose:
“Again, you’re putting your friends/kids before me?”
They may even cancel your plans by scheduling something else last minute — then guilt you for not choosing them.
They might speak badly about their own friends too, so you feel uncomfortable around them.
And before you realize it, you’ve slowly become isolated, thinking it was your own choice.
4. Explosive anger… especially behind the wheel
How someone drives can reveal a lot.
Road rage, name-calling, disrespecting traffic rules, lashing out at other drivers — or at you.
If you find yourself tense every time they take the wheel, it may be that your nervous system is trying to tell you something.
5. Repeated apologies… without real change
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. It’s just because…”
But then the same words come back. The same actions.
And between these cycles, a sweet little honeymoon phase gives you hope that this time will be different.
But nothing truly changes.
6. A constant atmosphere of drama and instability
Everything is a crisis. They’re always miserable.
You try to support them, but every conversation becomes emotional labour.
Each disagreement turns into chaos.
You start walking on eggshells, always trying to avoid triggers.
And in the process… you start to disappear.
💡 Now what?
If you recognize yourself in some of these signs, I want you to know this:
You are not alone.
You are not weak.
You did not imagine it.
And more importantly:
You deserve a safe, loving, stable relationship.
One where responsibility is shared.
Where conflict is met with care.
Where you can be fully yourself without the fear of being punished, ignored, manipulated or erased.
Yes — this kind of love exists.
But before stepping into it, you must first step out of what feeds your fear and self-abandonment.
You must return to yourself.
Reclaim your worth.
Strengthen your inner foundation.
For this, we need clear markers, honest reflection, and deep gentleness.
We need a supportive circle that reminds us our heart deserves tenderness.
Maybe right now, you feel helpless.
A little lost at the thought of starting over…
And I want you to hear me: I understand you.
When you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or confused by a toxic relationship,
your heart wants to close itself to survive.
But there is another way.
A way where you gently learn to feel safe within.
To build inner trust in your body, in your nervous system, in your voice.
A way that invites you to move slowly, with intention…
and to reopen your heart, this time toward a healthy, respectful, aligned love.
✨ If something in you knows it’s time…
If you’re ready to explore this healing path with compassionate support,
I warmly invite you to reach out, book a call with IntegraSoul, and take that first step toward your freedom — and your return to inner strength.
Because you don’t have to walk this path alone.
And because you truly deserve a love that feels like home.
Love and gratitude,
Carole
At IntegraSoul, we are here in service towards your wellbeing and your best version !
All rights reserved.
Carole Noël
Médecine énergétique & Counselling
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