Jun 29

Relationship...The introduction!

Updated: Jul 3

Part 1 of 4

The introduction

My intention with this part of my life story is to show you that it is possible to escape a toxic relationship, even if you think you never will.

In your mind, you will often create scenarios where you manage to leave, but in reality, you won’t find the strength to do so. These scenarios become coping mechanisms that keep you in an illusion, reinforcing your fear and diminishing your confidence. This fragile confidence is further eroded by the emotional and mental abuse from the other person, plunging you into a whirlwind of emotions where you feel lost and unable to trust anyone.

It took me a long time to write this part of my experience. It required the time to completely let go, to forgive deeply, to repair and heal this part of my life, to regain confidence in my abilities, and to reconnect with my heart and voice.

It was important for me to express this part of my life without emotion and without judgment. My ultimate intention is to tell you that it is possible to escape, even though it is difficult and frightening. You deserve the best, and there are resources available to help you. I waited until I reached inner neutrality, like watching a horror movie without sound—it ceases to be frightening. I wanted to reach the end of this past to live in peace and freedom. I have now reached a neutral position where I can talk about this part of my life without judgment or emotion, which means everything is forgiven and released.

I regret nothing from this past because each life experience has allowed me to repair and heal my inner wounds. I chose to take the time to heal by being alone with myself for all these years. I revisited each moment of the past to take responsibility, learn, and accept forgiveness. This is how I achieved inner peace. We learn from these experiences to avoid repeating them and to accept ourselves fully.

Healing is a continuous and living process. At this stage, I understand a lot about life and can firmly state that life experiences intensify if we don’t take the time to stop, repair, and heal.

I share this part of my story because we often hide stories that could help others. I believe we must reach a state of neutrality before sharing, to avoid passing judgment on others since everyone reacts based on their own wounds.

There is too much emotional, mental, and physical abuse that we often let pass. Perhaps we think we can’t do anything about it, or that no one will believe us, or we are too exhausted or ashamed to talk about it. It has almost become taboo, and the feeling of shame is very present.

It can happen to anyone, and I can tell you that I lived in shame—a lot of shame. This shame makes you hide because you think you should have chosen better or listened to your intuition. Yes, it made me isolate myself because, in addition to everything I could feel, there was defamation against me during this extremely difficult separation. The fear of judgment was intense because I no longer knew what to make of the things being said about me.

A person with these conditions becomes very wounded in their ego when left, and a breakup becomes a real affront because it calls their self-esteem into question. They doubt the exceptional person they think they are, and since they have a lot of pain inside, they will do great harm to the other. I had no idea I would go through such hell, and I buried myself in a black hole where I thought the only way out was to end my life (all this during the famous COVID confinements where I hid for two months out of fear). This moment of intense darkness woke me up, like a flash of lightning that opened my eyes and lit a little flame within me.

Little by little, I got out of it, and I want to tell you that it is possible to escape a toxic relationship (whether professional, familial, or romantic). Romantic relationships can be especially intense. Moving through separation towards recovery is possible.

Relationships of any kind require a lot of effort because it is in this field that we learn about life and become aware of who we have become to repair and heal. Being in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic person is even more difficult. You feel like you’ve been cheated in every sense of the word, and leaving is exhausting. There is also the feeling of losing everything. I rebuilt everything one step at a time because I had nothing left in the outside world, but I had myself and my abilities. I want to tell you that everything is possible, and that is the reason for these writings.

The most difficult life experiences give us the greatest blessings because by choosing to put effort into our repair and healing, we come to achieve inner peace and learn who we have become. This awareness allows us to see our operating modes and internal injuries. Repairing and healing our inner selves is crucial. How else can we cure something if we don’t know what to cure? This process is done in small steps with a carefree attitude because the more intense the experience, the more time is necessary to reach internal neutrality. In this space, you will feel your love intensify, becoming your ultimate boundary. At that moment, you will have found your internal power and your light, guiding you towards a path of love and light for your greatest good.

With Love and Gratitude,

Carole

Blog 2, 3 and 4 will follow

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